


Forget Me Not

by TheSilverField



Series: Ereri-Writing-Prompts (tumblr) [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: EreriWritingPrompt3, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Modern AU, TW: Panic Attacks, ereri-writing-prompts, slight angst, tw: anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-25 22:59:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13844814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilverField/pseuds/TheSilverField
Summary: Turns out, Levi forgets things sometimes too.





	Forget Me Not

Eren was confused.

In all their six years of being together, Levi had never forgotten anything. He was meticulous in all things, and that included memorization. Whether it was entirely intentional, or absorbed into the interiors of his subconscious, Levi had a knack for always remembering. Of course, the quirk held it's pros and it's cons, but Eren had always been impressed by this feat, as infuriating as it was in some moments.

Levi _never_ forgot, which was why Eren was so confused.

Eren did not share in his husband's gift. In fact, the younger of the two was quite forgetful himself. (Levi often joke that Eren should be the older of the two of them, since he seemed to be going senile much quicker. Eren always smacked his arm for the comment, lying about seeing grey hairs in his lover's raven locks.) But he had been making more of an effort lately to remember important dates. The day they met, their fist kiss, their first date, their first time, their wedding anniversary. Even Valentine's and Levi's birthday, which should have been easy to remember since it was on  _Christmas._ It was all written down on a small piece of paper in his wallet, the one thing he never seemed to misplace.

After the first few years of checking the paper, the dates had seemingly began to ingrain themselves into his mind, and he couldn't be more pleased with himself. Finally. It also helped that Levi would start dropping hints that a special day was coming up a few days in advance, getting his husband flowers or small trinkets that he had caught him eyeing in shops. When that started happening, Eren knew to check his paper to see what they'd be celebrating soon.

But today.  _Today_ was a special day. It was their third wedding anniversary. It had snuck up on Eren in the blink of an eye due to the fact that Levi had left  _no_ hints. At first, Eren thought that Levi was trying to prove a point, or teach him a lesson, but Levi hadn't even asked Eren for gift ideas or what he would like for dinner that evening or  _anything_. It was like it wasn't even happening, and the young man wasn't quite sure what to do.

Another thing Levi was good at was planning. He handled all the dates, only asking Eren a few questions about his preferences when needed. Maybe Levi had gotten tired and expected Eren to take over the planning this year. Maybe he was bored. Maybe he was angry.

Maybe he felt that Eren didn't want to celebrate such a beautiful day because he didn't care about him. Maybe he thought that Eren wasn't putting forth an effort because he didn't love him. Maybe he was hurt.

Because Levi  _never_ forgot.

Eren's mind was swimming in a sea of maybes. No, he was drowning, swept away in the dark waters of his mind and pulled beneath the current with no safety harness. His heart seemed to clench in his chest, his mouth going bone dry as his lungs shrunk in a sudden fit of anxiety. He felt dizzy, standing on shaking legs as his knees started to go weak and tears welled up in his eyes. He tried to keep himself calm by taking deep breaths like Levi had always shown him, and it did seem to help, but the thoughts of possibly hurting his beloved worried his mind.

He lowered himself onto the couch, twisting his ring around his finger nervously as he continued to try to settle his racing mind, rocking back and forth, counting down from ten. But his heart rate picked up again when he heard the rattle of keys outside the apartment's door, the click of the lock, and the eventual swing of the door opening.

"Honey, I'm home." Levi's voice could be heard from the hall, tired from the long day at work, speaking words he only reserves for this special day. He never calls Eren honey. He never says anything so corny.

Only on their anniversary.

_So he does remember..._ He thought to himself, which in his mind practically confirmed his fears. A small whimper slipped passed his lips, and he covered his mouth to muffle a sob as his rocking only quickened. Teal irises were hidden behind tightly shut eyelids, trying with all his might to subdue his now full-blown panic attack, his words trapped in his throat like they'd been glued there.

But Levi had heard. As he was taking off his shoes at the door, he had heard that tiny whimper, the gasping of breath and choked sobs. He was rushing as he kicked his shoes haphazardly out of his way, throwing off his jacket and dropping his keys to rush to his husband's aid. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw Eren, all crumpled on the couch with tear stained cheeks, but he didn't let the broken sight deter him from comforting the brunet. Levi remembered what helped and what didn't; he remembered.

He remembered the first time this had happened, over a shattered teacup. Levi hadn't been physically or emotionally hurt by the porcelain slipping out of his then-boyfriend's fingers, but Eren had nearly been inconsolable. He knew the boy was clumsy, and that he had small bouts of anxiety, but he had never been witness to one of the fateful attacks until then. That night, once Eren had calmed the storm of his mind and settled into Levi's loving arms, the older vowed that he would do everything in his power to help the love of his life conquer his crippling anxiety. He would research the mental illness, pay close attention to things that triggered attacks, and learn the best ways to help prevent or bring him out of his panic.

Having not been home to know what triggered this particular attack, Levi would have to just wing it. He knelt down in front of his darling husband, setting gentle hands on his knees, soothingly stroking up and down his legs. "Eren, baby. Whatever it is, I'm here now. Can you tell me what happened?" he asked softly, voice as smooth and sweet as honey, but he barely got the words out before Eren's eyes flew open and another sob left him.

"I'm so sorry, Levi! I... I didn't mean to hurt you!" Eren gasped out through the tightness in his chest, his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth, like he was trying to speak passed a mouth full of sand.

Levi's eyebrows met in confusion, his hands faltering for only a moment before he shook himself enough to focus again. "What are you talking about, baby? You haven't hurt me at all."

But Eren only shook his head, and Levi could see the muscles in his neck tensing up, signalling that the brunet was having a very hard time getting his thoughts collected into words. Levi took a deep breath, and moved himself to sit next to his beloved on the couch. He wrapped him up in his arms, leaning against the arm of the sofa and pulling Eren into his chest, massaging his shoulders. As he whispered loving words into the other's ear, he wracked his brain for any memory of Eren hurting him in the past few days, weeks, and even months. But if there was something, Levi didn't remember.

Ten minutes turned into thirty, and that turned into an hour. Levi realized silently that this was Eren's worst attack to date. He had been doing so well at coming out of his anxiety attacks here in the last several years. His medication certainly helped, but Eren also claimed that Levi was just really good at comforting him. But as one hour started to inch closer to two, the raven began to doubt himself.

”Eren, baby, it’s gonna be okay. I’m not mad or hurt, I swear.” He did his best to soothe, but the longer the attack drug on and on, the more Levi began to feel helpless. “My sweet Eren. Everything’s going to be okay. No matter what it is, it’s gonna be okay.”

But was it? Levi had no idea what had happened to cause this, and whose to say that he wasn’t making it worse? For all he knew, Eren could be afraid of him. He thought Levi was angry with him, or hurt by him, so it was entirely plausible that the raven’s presence was only making it worse.

Levi was pulled from his thoughts when he felt the warm body pressed to his front begin to twist around to face him. His normally bright teal eyes were hooded with exhaustion, his face red and splotchy and swollen. The older’s heart broke at the all too familiar expression on his husband’s precious face, his fingertips carefully wiping away his tears. “Baby, won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

Eren’s shoulder’s were stiff, his back sore from the wracking of his sobs. He sniffled, resting his head against his chest. “I’m sorry.” The words were whispered so quietly that Levi had barely heard him.

But he did, and he moved a gentle hand under Eren’s chin to tilt his face towards his own. “Eren, you don’t have a single thing to be sorry about. What happened, baby? What brought this on all of a sudden?” He asked softly, afraid that he would set off another attack if he spoke too loudly. But Eren only shook his head, staying silent for a long while as he thought through his words.

Silences between the young men were not always comfortable. When they were first starting to know each other, their silence was filled with adolescent awkwardness, but they had grown out of that fairly quickly. It morphed into a pleasantness that both boys were fond of, wrapping themselves in the warm glow of each other's embrace and finding comfort in the fact that they didn't need words to show each other love. However, there were still times that the silence was filled with tension.

This was one of those times.

"I thought I hurt your feelings." he whispered as quietly as a breath, wiping at the last of his tears with the backs of his hands. "I thought maybe you were upset because I can never remember our special days, even though I'm trying really hard. I thought that you thought I didn't care, or that I'm not putting in any effort, or that I don't love you anymore... I do. I do care, and I'm  _trying_ , and I love you so much. I even have this little paper in my wallet that has all of the dates we like to celebrate, and I try to keep up, but you weren't leaving any hints, so I don't even have you anything for our anniversary, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Levi. I'm sorry I forgot."

What was supposed to come out as a well thought out explanation turned into a hurl of word vomit. It all tumbled from the younger's lips clumsily, stammering and sniffling through the entire apology. But Levi easily caught on, and hugged his young lover to his chest even tighter than before.

"Eren, no. I don't think those things at all. I know you're trying. I can see it, and that shows me how much you care. And I know you wouldn't have married me if you thought for one second that you could ever stop loving me. I know my Eren." he whispered soothingly, continuing to massage the brunet's tense shoulders and dot loving kisses along his face. The raven took a deep breath, and prepared himself for his own confession. One he never thought he would have to make. "It's okay you forgot, because I forgot too."

Teal eyes widened to the size of saucers, his mouth hanging wide open. "But... Levi, you  _never_ forget. Ever."

"I do, I just play it off like I don't." the older shrugs, and sighs tiredly as he brings one hand up to rub at his eyes. "I'm sorry, baby. Things have been so hectic at work this past month, so I haven't gotten the free time to go buy you gifts. I know I could have found time, but I've been getting in so late that I just wanted to come home and spend what little time I had left in the day with my husband. After the first week of putting all the planning off, today completely slipped my mind. I didn't even know what day it was until I checked the calendar at work this morning."

Eren was concerned deeply for his husband, but his anxiety was seemingly beginning to ebb away into relief. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry you've been having such a rough time at work. Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly, and ran his fingers through raven hair just like he knew Levi liked.

Levi only shrugged again, leaning into his lover's comforting touch. "Because I didn't want to bring work home. I didn't want to burden you, I know you have so much on your own plate. It was stressful, but I was handling it, and it's done now."

Eren's body was completely relaxed now, leaning slack into his husband's chest. He thought for a moment about pressing Levi further about what had happened at work, but knew that the man was too stubborn to let anything out now that his mind was set on keeping it all to himself. If Levi wanted to talk, he'll come to Eren. If not, he won't. Simple as that. "So then... We both forgot..."

The raven nodded, bringing Eren's hands out of his hair to hold against his chest. "Seems like it."

They sat in silence once again, relieved to find it comfortable this time, the tension eased by each other's confessions. Eren's mind was no longer an obsidian ocean pulling him into it's inky depths. It was no longer a flood of ifs or maybes, no longer holding his body captive in the iron chains of panic. The air he breathed was clear, and filled with the scent of cedarwood and lemon, the smell of Levi. Even his guilt began to ease at the thought of his beloved not having any gifts for him either.

Several minutes passed before either of them spoke again, but that was fine. When the silence was broken, it was Levi who spoke up first, his tone easier and a bit teasing. "Wanna order pizza and marathon Harry Potter?"

Eren's thoughtful expression morphed into a wide grin, his eyes finally beginning to light up and sparkle like the gems they were. "That sounds perfect, love."

"Happy anniversary."


End file.
